Monday, August 23, 2010

3.06 - A story about my shedding my cocoon...

Dear lambs,

It's about midnight, well, a few minutes before and I thought I'd take this opportunity to blog about happening in the life of yours truly, the original pretty boy.

I just returned from working out with sissy Miss Adrian and am sipping down a soy-protien shake mixed with almond milk (well, that's not really milk, if it's from almonds, is it?) and a mixture of organic blueberry-acai-blackberry juice... it's fabulous --- kinda.

I am taken back to my early days of hanging out with Leon (Panda) and his constant need to suck down a protien shake and how stupid he was for not eating prior or after a work out. He was under the Headlines mentality that starving yourself and supplments made you beautiful. Well, I don't want a sip of that shake because it's not getting him too far up the ranks..

I have, since my departure in June, been working out non-stop. Today, one of my guests told me, "you look soooo good" and for the first time when I saw myself naked in the mirror this morning, I dind't roll my eyes in disgusts and mumble "f--k it".

I actually liked what I was seeing..

That's a major breakthrough for me!

Believe it or not, this narcisistic little man doesn't think he's very attractive! At all.

And now I'm starting to peel off the layers of doubt and seeing this whole other person I never thought I'd meet.

I received amazing news today that I WILL officially be moving downtown in early September! Holy mama!! I'm excited. My mum, well, she's a little sad..

I've been home so long it's going to be a different adjustment for her, but it's been way long overdue! I was trying to adjust her to not seeing me by staying with Leon for most of April-July and when that all ran away and I had to stay home at Casa de Cooley, as good as it felt, it was very smothering at the same time..

I miss the loft downtown, but I do not miss the fights, the arguments, the late mealtimes, the constant one-way-loveness of it all... it sounds alot like a caged animal, doesn't it?

Well, that is what it felt like and that's what I loved whole-heartedly for months.

Today, I was talking to Andrew and I started talking about Leon and my non-existent relationship with Nasia and realized that I'm at the part of a break-up where you want to get even...

I am not built that way!

I do not ever want that, but now, I'm kind of rebelling against all the whole-heartedness and came to verbal and public realization that their removal was needed. I am better off focusing on me.

I have moved on. New salon! New success... super busy. Great clients. Great company. When I'm home. I'm home.

No drama. No talking down to me...

Andrew told me, "it's sooo good to see you not in 'whiney' mode. That irritates me." Poor Andrew, no wonder he doesn't read the blog, I whine the whole time! HA HA

So, taking this to a positive blog and not such a negative vibe, I have been able to focus on the editing of my book and a new project entitled "Haute Mess by J Ry"

I can't release the details just yet, but it's a project in the works... I'm excited to share it with you and as time goes on and my downtown fifteen-year old meets Fashion Week Maven takes hold, I will divulge all the gritty details of exactly what "Haute Mess" by J Ry is.

I am at a point of realization (once again, how many points of realization can one have in ONE blog?) that moving on and building my life is something I'm open to.

I want to resurge my t-shirt line and design work.

I want my clients to come first.

I want a love-life... I am entitled.

I want to be single.

I want to be alone Greta-Garbo-style

I want to walk the sidewalk with friends and eat frozen yogurt talking about absolutely nothing..

I want my cocoon to finally open and I want to unveil the butterfly named J Ry soon...

Losing Leon was nothing compared to the energy I feel now bubbling in my cocoon..

I could explode, but until then...

new blog in a couple days...

And be on the look out for Haute Mess by J Ry details coming soon..

BTW: My birthday is next Monday... I have zero-plans. Any suggestions for this haute mess?


J Ry

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