Monday, August 30, 2010

3.08 - A story about a less-than-happy birthday.

Good morning lambs,

It's 10:45 am on August 30th. Today is, in fact, my birthday and I'm sitting here alone at Casa de Cooley sipping a coffee getting ready to clean house ..


How glamourous.


I was greeted by some wonderful messages via Facebook and text this morning and could see how wonderful people really are. I am truly very blessed. I was kinda hoping I'd get a surprise text from Nasia, but no...


And I don't want anything from Leon even though I spent alot of time and effort on his birthday and hooked him up with D&G and a kick-ass watch..


I guess somehow, a day that I have always cherished since my birth, isn't so "happy" this year.


For weeks, people have asked me "what would you like to do on your birthday?"


My family has been bugging me, "what you like to eat on your birthday?"


I'm yet to answer. It's my birthday.


I'm at home getting ready to clean and then work out and then maybe I'll call Andrew or Janelle and turn my phone on and take the world for what it's worth once again.


I've never had a birthday funk like this. But I truly believe that the release of Nasia is bothering me the most... that was my best friend! Leon's deceit and lies only mirror the fact that nothing was real. Ever.


...and as much as I value my lambs, and Andrew, and Janelle...


somehow the double-whammy of losing two people I had so much love for remains...and I just want it to be done with...


I'm sure that turning on the iPod and cleaning will pre-occupy my time, but in the meantime...


Happy Birthday to me.


Thank you for the wishes this year, but I miss one person most this year and it would only make me the happiest to have Nasia back in my life..


that's a candle I won't count on blowing out though.


xo
j ry

Friday, August 27, 2010

3.07: A story about public image, finding my value and creating an alliance..

Good morning lambs,

It's about 2 am on Friday morning and I'm sitting here in my American Apparrel tee and sniffing away my allergies..


Well, the countdown has begun, Monday is my birthday- I will be an astounding 1,000 years old! I'm excited...


As part of turning 1,000, I thought I would update you on a little career info: Trendsetters Hair Studio HAS EXPLODED along with Joshua Ryan, Inc. Lots of fun winter campaigns are in the works for me as a solo gig and a promotional event or two are in the works for the salon overall and let me tell you, I'm super excited.


On top of that, I found out today that for the first quater of me working at Trendsetters, I am, of course, you guessed, TOP RETAILER. Most product moved by yours truly, but did we have any doubts?


Nope.


I've had an astounding THREE job offers this week from competing salons: one new, one old, and one up the block. I laughed and very genuinely declined and announced, "I'm super happy where I'm at, baby, but thank you, the offer means so much to me..."


The funniest part is that I realized my value locally has gone up immensely! For three long years, I was told "no" and that "[I wasn't] very good at what [I] did or technically gifted." And let me tell you, SoCo and the local beauty industry see otherwise!


I think truly that my last salon and it's ownership kept me held back out of jealousy and hostility and I find it abolutely disgusting that they find it healthy to talk to people like that when they know damn well there are some very talented artists in this industry locally and globally.


I was talking to my mum tonight and she told me, "no matter what, you never diss anyone, you've always admited their streingths and your strengths and your variances and a difference in technique.."


I interrupted her and said, "..because no body is wrong.. beauty is a philosophy and art, we all have a point of view."


I never said I was the best, I never said I was Vidal goddamned Sassoon, but one thing I am is honest..


genuine is another good word.


I may not be THE best to some, but for every hater, there is someone who adores me. Alot of the time, I find it hard telling myself I'm alright at what I do or finding the confidence.


All the public appearances being lined up for the fall are extraordinary and people that have met with me have applauded me on my efforts to inspire my team of salon peers. One person I don't ever have a doubt in is my salon owner Janelle. She believe 110% that everything we're doing is only for the best for the growth of her salon.


We're getting new stations, we're making public appeanances and are even thinking of putting together a fashion show. My NEXT big project along with my manuscript and Haute Mess by J Ry (no hints yet for the public) is to create an alliance between salons...


I want us to be 100% committed to education, ethics and friendship between each other. In this very small economy and business world that SoCo has, it's not okay to have enemies, it's only proper to (let's pretend we're in kindergarten when I say this) make friends.


Together, we prosper and alone we can still make waves, but it's nice to know you have someone on your side and someone there to back you up.


Recently, I lost two individuals that I thought were my back up and I have to tell you: if I have it my way and create an alliance, I'll have all of SoCo as my back-up and the two that abandoned me in my hour of need will run to the hills...


Have a fabulous weekend... and keep a look out for your favourite Rockstar Stylist Josh Cooley and your favourite Trendsetter Janelle making waves very soon in a neighbourhood near you!


xxxo.

J Ry


PS: I recently was certified and named a L'Oreal International Artist for their INOA Haircolour Range, visit http://www.findinoa.com/ to see yours truly on the international L'Oreal Professionnel website. ; )

Monday, August 23, 2010

3.06 - A story about my shedding my cocoon...

Dear lambs,

It's about midnight, well, a few minutes before and I thought I'd take this opportunity to blog about happening in the life of yours truly, the original pretty boy.


I just returned from working out with sissy Miss Adrian and am sipping down a soy-protien shake mixed with almond milk (well, that's not really milk, if it's from almonds, is it?) and a mixture of organic blueberry-acai-blackberry juice... it's fabulous --- kinda.


I am taken back to my early days of hanging out with Leon (Panda) and his constant need to suck down a protien shake and how stupid he was for not eating prior or after a work out. He was under the Headlines mentality that starving yourself and supplments made you beautiful. Well, I don't want a sip of that shake because it's not getting him too far up the ranks..


I have, since my departure in June, been working out non-stop. Today, one of my guests told me, "you look soooo good" and for the first time when I saw myself naked in the mirror this morning, I dind't roll my eyes in disgusts and mumble "f--k it".


I actually liked what I was seeing..


That's a major breakthrough for me!


Believe it or not, this narcisistic little man doesn't think he's very attractive! At all.


And now I'm starting to peel off the layers of doubt and seeing this whole other person I never thought I'd meet.


I received amazing news today that I WILL officially be moving downtown in early September! Holy mama!! I'm excited. My mum, well, she's a little sad..


I've been home so long it's going to be a different adjustment for her, but it's been way long overdue! I was trying to adjust her to not seeing me by staying with Leon for most of April-July and when that all ran away and I had to stay home at Casa de Cooley, as good as it felt, it was very smothering at the same time..


I miss the loft downtown, but I do not miss the fights, the arguments, the late mealtimes, the constant one-way-loveness of it all... it sounds alot like a caged animal, doesn't it?


Well, that is what it felt like and that's what I loved whole-heartedly for months.


Today, I was talking to Andrew and I started talking about Leon and my non-existent relationship with Nasia and realized that I'm at the part of a break-up where you want to get even...


I am not built that way!


I do not ever want that, but now, I'm kind of rebelling against all the whole-heartedness and came to verbal and public realization that their removal was needed. I am better off focusing on me.


I have moved on. New salon! New success... super busy. Great clients. Great company. When I'm home. I'm home.


No drama. No talking down to me...


Andrew told me, "it's sooo good to see you not in 'whiney' mode. That irritates me." Poor Andrew, no wonder he doesn't read the blog, I whine the whole time! HA HA


So, taking this to a positive blog and not such a negative vibe, I have been able to focus on the editing of my book and a new project entitled "Haute Mess by J Ry"


I can't release the details just yet, but it's a project in the works... I'm excited to share it with you and as time goes on and my downtown fifteen-year old meets Fashion Week Maven takes hold, I will divulge all the gritty details of exactly what "Haute Mess" by J Ry is.


I am at a point of realization (once again, how many points of realization can one have in ONE blog?) that moving on and building my life is something I'm open to.


I want to resurge my t-shirt line and design work.

I want my clients to come first.

I want a love-life... I am entitled.

I want to be single.

I want to be alone Greta-Garbo-style

I want to walk the sidewalk with friends and eat frozen yogurt talking about absolutely nothing..


I want my cocoon to finally open and I want to unveil the butterfly named J Ry soon...


Losing Leon was nothing compared to the energy I feel now bubbling in my cocoon..


I could explode, but until then...


new blog in a couple days...

And be on the look out for Haute Mess by J Ry details coming soon..


BTW: My birthday is next Monday... I have zero-plans. Any suggestions for this haute mess?


xxxo,

J Ry

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

3.05 - A story about John Lennon's waiting list...

Hey lambs...

It's about 11:30 pm on a Wednesday night and I'm sipping the last of my Heineken and finishing up reading some comments from my Facebook page.


Today, my website past 1,400 visitors and the blog had more readers in one week that it has in a VERY long time. I'm working on absolutely nothing at the moment and it feels good.


This morning, I woke up around 11 from a text message sent by Andrew asking what I was doing for lunch. I decided to take a partial day-off as in seeing I haven't had a day off in three weeks. Crazy, Josh... just crazy, but that's how much I love you guys!


So, I looked at this Saturday and next Saturday and Saturday's into the next month and half and I'm about 90% booked along with my in-demand Mondays. I even have a waiting list in the works and it's only been ten weeks since my split with the girls at Headlines. I was told I WOULD NEVER have a waiting list!!!!


Crazy how that happens, huh?


To say the least, I'm very confident at the moment and for good reason: I've earned the right to be confident. I've removed the negativity out of my life and have installed a filter. Some would say I have trust issues at the moment (and they may be correct), but others may say that I am also moving on and embracing it and yes, I am.


Today, my rabbi wrote to me and told ME thank you. I was like, "why?"


Then, I really though... in a world where Yehuda has written books and speaks worldwide in a different venue every single week, that's such an honour that he even replies to me via Facebook and Twitter.


I posted a message on Facebook today about creating miracles and making them happen. One thing we've always been taught at The Kabbalah Centre was, "God does not create miracles- YOU do!"


It's not to downgrade or talkdown blessings or miracles from up above, but it's to say that we have the potential to create amazing, massive things in this world using our powers for good and not our powers of darkness that bring people down and cause frowns on customers and business associates and loved ones and children, but to create a "universal" happiness where we all get along... and yes, I know I sound very John Lennon right now, but the man had something...


He also removed himself from conflict in the world including the pressure of The Beatles. Yoko did not break up the group, he romoved himself... I watched the documentary! I know! (ha ha)


I think my inspiration from watching John is watching him remove himself from the world's most popular group at that time, along with Paul and realizing The Beatles' name didn't really mean anything, it was the talent behind the name...


I think about that alot lately and situations like it, like me leaving Headlines. A HUGELY well-known salon in our area, but who do you remember there? I have a slew of e-mail, texts, messages via Facebook and josh-cooley.com that say I made the experience there for those guests...


And to me... that's what matters..


That gets me out of bed EVERY morning along wiht Yehuda's words in my inbox and texts on my phone and that humbles me when I remember distinctly being told by the matriarch of Headliens... YOU'LL NEVER HAVE A WAITING LIST, YOU'LL NEVER RETAIN A GUEST, NO ONE'S EVER MADE IT, PROVE ME WRONG, BABE...


Well, babe...


Here's your waiting list...

Love John Lennon... I mean, Josh Cooley...


; )

Sunday, August 15, 2010

3.04 - A story about finding the fashionistas and walking the runway together.

Hello lambs,

It's almost 1 am on Monday morning and I'm sipping some detox tea and reading directions on the back of my soy protien powder.. how do people use this stuff? (not kidding)


So, this week, although very successful at the salon, was very stagnant in my soul and insides. With the realization of my two friends deleting me out of their lives, I had a verbal smackdown from my mom, Yvonne Cooley.


We have agreed that moving forward is the best thing for me and not looking back and as I consulted with my teacher and rabbi at The Kabbalah Centre in LA, I realized it's time to send my very last "fire or hire" messages to my friends.


I met with some amazing friends and got tons of messages from all of you regarding my "cyber meltdown" on Thursday night. Thank you guys. I need to focus on all the amazing friends I have out there and not on the two that have worn me out.


Thank you for always having feedback for me. I live for that! Truly.


In moving forward, it's hard not to check Panda's online profile only to see that I am blocked (that's effed up) and that he has cute-ass pics blowing kisses at the camera. He seems to be even better without me and a part of me wants to throw a baseball at his head. No joke.


Staring at my Blackberry today, I was hoping to hear the "ding!" of a new e-mail note from Nasia, but nothing..


Oh well...


In moving forward, I talked to Janelle, my salon peer, and have looked at focusing on the salon and improving my overall image. Tonight, I watched Rachel Zoe on tv and realized, I'm doing just fine. She's always so "drama", but it's not real, you can tell. She knows how to deal or she wouldn't be as successful as she is, kinda like, I'm not as drama as I seem or I wouldn't have what I have.


And I have a phenomenal team behind me helping me rock out the Joshua Ryan, Inc universe.


For reference: Joshua Ryan, Inc is the company owned by yours truly that owns me, my salon accounts, my t-shirt line I've neglected, my book I've neglected and my work with haircare companies that I need to resurge..


So, with two people out of the picture that took all my time and investments, I am onward looking for an apartment of my own in downtown P-town to be the centre of Joshua Ryan, Inc. Mum Yvonne and I have a meeting tentatively scheduled to go over the financials of my brand as she will assume the CEO role and I will simply own myself, my brands and assume Creative Director.


We're gonna focus on the following: house - check (place to live needed), car (yep, time to upgrade!) and saving money in the process and number three (the ultimate salon).


I love my home at Trendsetters and love working with Janelle and see myself there for a couple more years. I love treating it like a private studio and being able to offer my guests the very best there is. So, focusing on me is the challenge because working downtown and my clientele are the easy part: but J Ry, the person, has to grow up and make some adjustments.


I have had a blast twittering and texting new individuals and meeting new clients after dropping my very own ad campaign throughout all of Southern Colorado! I want to catapult my business to the next level! On top of that, I am talking / flirting with a new valentine on my downtime..


I'm not expecting much, but a little "friendly" diversion, is totally needed right now.


I met with my good friend Michelle for sushi this week and had a blast talking to her, but it's time for a follow-up. She's so fashionable and has so much going on in her life right now and it seems like my life is moving me and my Diesel jeans to more Avante Garde, fashionista group of friends, Antoinette met with me on Friday afternoon and we had the "realest" of conversation I've had in a while.


She was the one that told me and I am above conflict, it's not needed! I love her so much for that! It was an eye opener. It also opened my eyes as I was speaking about what douche one of my former acquaintances really is. As we talked outside the coffee shop, literally about a dozen people stopped and said hi or waved or recognized me or something along those lines, Antoinette says, "dude! You're a fucking rockstar!"


I was so certain, I'd be fine. In fact, better, without the baggage.


Janelle and I talk alot. She's defenitely become a super good friend of mine and I adore her to bits. Working on the salon with her has been a joy for me. I love it! I have so much pride on Union because of the fact that there's a sense of community downtown. It's absolutely amazing to me...


Yeah, as my boxes of couture came in this week, I realized, a new polished look, a new group of fashionistas and a filter on my exes and friends and clientele is super needed.. maybe a little silence, although, deafening is needed...


Find your "fashionistas" this week lambs and hold on tight.. it's time to walk the runway with a little attitude and no looking back...

-josh


Wednesday, August 11, 2010

3.03 - A story about the last thing you told me...

Hey lambs!

It's J Ry here at almost 12 midnight blogging a classic mid-week blog as I sip a Crown and Redbull and sit here with laptop and Diesel underwear. (Haha! What a visual)


Today was a HUGEly long day, but it all the right ways!


Busy, booked scheduled at the salon today and yesterday was the release of my huge-ass ad campaign all over the city with direct mail VIP Passes to over 50,000 homes in the area! OMG! That's huge! Never before in my life did I think I'd be capable of making this happen, but it has!


I immediately received phone calls. I'm so excited to record the success of this investment. Honestly. One of the best moves I've ever made and I'm pretty sure my big salon up the street that I divorced a couple months ago is shitting their panties. (sorry for THAT visual)


Tonight, after this fun day of celebrating my add and taking a ride down to one of my favourite coffee shops, I noticed the opening of a NEW salon in town. It looked so pretty from the sidewalk, I walked in and shouted, "Oh my god!! It's sooooooo pretty in here."


I met with the owner and another stylist and congratulated her on her effort. Opening a salon is tough, honestly. Owning your own business is tough. As I said hi and talked briefly I told her, "I had to come say hi because in this field you have peers, you DO NOT make enemies."


As I said my goodbyes and got my coffee and back in the car, I started wondering, did Nasia and Panda think I was trying to create an enemy in the pair of them along with the last artistic team I left? I hope not.


At the same time, the conscience decision to stop talking to me was in their free-will.


According to the direct and observed reports (ha ha / wink wink), Nasia is not digging my blog, and Panda stopped talking, texting, e-mailing and Facebooking after he returned from New York. It's sad. I love my friends with all my heart, but also take alot of shit from people I trust. I allow myself to be a doormat and let them push me and push me and talk above me like they ARE over me, when in fact, it's not so.


I'm sorry I'm not a family man, I'm sorry I'm not city enough for some people, but I'm not sorry for being me. Or having integrity.


I'm at the point of sadness after a break-up where you're angry and want to get even, but at the dawn of realizing, getting even is just like dragging it on and beating a dead horse, so, with that (and hoping the pair of them are reading), I release you of any obligation to me. Hands down.


I would love to re-establish all my bonds at a moment's notice if for some odd reason an ounce of humbleness was displayed.


In this world, it's all about protecting ourselves and keeping our own necks above water. And for years, I protected and kept an eye on all my friends and as some have sunken, I've let them, but the ones I tied imaginary floating devices to, turned around and took my one good water wing and wanted me to swim for my life or die. And that's not cool.


Maybe this space/separation was a long time coming and maybe, just maybe, Andrew was right...


I need to stand up for myself.


Tonight, I had sushi with the fabulous fashionista herself, Michelle. We tweeted about our dinner tonight and talked about relationships (or lack of) and work and people in high school and at that moment in time I realized, "I'm just fine."


When more than three dozen people tell you, "Josh, f--k 'em and move on..."


I would say that's a bold hint to move on and focus.


Sunday night, I ordered a slew of threads from design houses in preparation of my ad campaign and Fall fashion season 2010. Diesel, Christian Audigier, Cain & Abel, American Apparel and my boy Mo of Last Leaf Designs are all contributing to the newly rebuilt J Ry.


Joshua Ryan, Inc is in full swing with my apartment purchase nearly half-way done and my business in full throttle.


As I sent my last text last Friday to Panda and Nasia, I sent identical texts, "I miss you and love you. xoxo."


Not a reply.


The last thing Nasia told me was, "buy a journal."

The last thing Panda told me was, "I think you're stupid [and] stay up, I'll call you back" -- and never did.


The last thing I told each of them was "i love you."


Here's to love, here's to business, and here's to them... cheers!
They're gonna miss me.

Josh

Sunday, August 8, 2010

3.02 - A story about toasting to help and toasting to separation...

Hey lambs!

How are you? It's Sunday afternoon, almost early evening and I'm blogging over a glass of Crown and Redbull hot off a night of chilling with my good friend Andrew and a converstation with my salon peer Janelle.

I absolutely adore both of them to pieces and have come to the conclusion that they are two of my rocks in life as we speak. They both have been there and I sometimes take for granted the advice given from my friends and peers that want the absolute best for me. Andrew has stepped up to the plate as an amazing person and great friend to me. It's sometimes very hard for me to accept alot of what I hear when a friend has to throw a smackdown on me and last night was one of those nights.

I was not entirely in the mood for a heart to heart conversation, but was presented with alot of very tangible reasons for always feeling sadness over people that shouldn't really matter.

I remember hearing, "you are and become like those that you hang around with." And recently, I've had to make some adjustments. I've chosen to separate from a couple people that I claimed were my mainstays in life. One person, I have alot of history with, one, only months of history with..

I think the highest of both of them in regards to their talents artistically and in their businesses, but feel it's time to move on and separate from the pair of them until I'm contacted by either. Which means, it could or maybe could not happen.

Alot of guidance has come from a trusted couple of friends and my mum and last night, I had to let it all soak in as Andrew and I enjoyed an evening at the opening of a new bar, 3Below.

3Below has been opened by two of my clients and one of my cousins/god-brother. I'm very excited to tell you how impressed I was and how extremely proud I have of the three. I felt relaxed and safe and had a great time sipping cocktails and order the signature 3Below shot in a test tube... ha ha!

Recently, to pre-occupy my time, I've taken interest in mentoring a fellow stylist. We have a photoshoot planned for her and styling session. We're "remaking" or "refining" her image and I'm building a budding new frienship in the process..

My plans of opening my own salon are still in the works, but focusing my attention on Trendsetters and re-working my book are my passions in the meantime. I went apartment hunting and think I found a spot for possible move in in September after my birthday.

I need to take the time to focus on Josh, which means, my own place, no more Casa de Cooley or Panda's loft. Mine. Joshua Ryan, Inc. is in full swing. I need to get that going, get moved in and perhaps even work on a new car and letting life weed itself out. So, for the remainder of 2010, Pretty Boy Education and my self-promotion at Trendsetters will pre-occupy my time and I'll re-evalutate salon plans in early 2011 for possible work in 2012 as I've always said.

I've also got to acknowledge and thank the guidance of my good friend Andrew and my peers Janelle and Julie and my heart to heart with my mum.

My mum and I had a heart to heart the other night about me leaving the house and really establishing my identity.

Nothing has ever changed about me. I have always accepted that I like to have cocktail hour, walk around downtown sipping coffee and smoke a cigarette while discussing art, sex, spirituality and anything deep late at night with a mixed group of friends. Blogging is a huge outlet for me and when people tell me not to blog or tell me that they are offended by the content, it really doesn't matter to me.

The reason being, 9 out of 10 of you tell me how much you LOVE the blog and 1 out of 10 of you tell me that you were offended or felt slighted. All I can say is, I have never written about anything that isn't true or anything we haven't discussed.

Andrew reassured me last night that I have my balls in the right place and need to start thinking with them and stop worrying about what my misguided heart is telling me at the moment. My logic has to judge what's going on and not what others are saying about me, twittering or texting about me.

One thing I've learned is that those close to us that have gotten to know us intimately that do not stand up for us are ususally working against us somewhere with someone evil or envious.

So, it's time to stand up, put on my big boy couture trunks and walk away and focus on Josh Cooley: the person. Not the lover, not the business man, not the blogger- the person!

Because without me being a solid person, I cannot be solid in any of those fields. One reliable attribute I have is business, so we don't have to worry about that, but one questionable and imbalanced part of me is my choice of relationships and acquaintances and that has to end NOW. Not tomorrow, not next week...

My birthday's around the corner and I know I'm not going to have well-wishes or cocktails with a few on my heart's guest list this year and that's okay. I raise a glass to my self and toast my separation from negative people and toxic relations and toast to my good friends Andrew and Janelle for helping me realize that we all need an intervention and guidance from good friends.

When we don't want help, is generally, when we need the most.

Shavua tov,
Joshy.




Dedicated to Andrew. You mean so much to me... ; )

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

3.01 - A story about "re-casting" the stars of my reality series..

Good evening lambs,

How are you? It's about 11 pm and I'm actually at my parents' restaurant waiting for my mum to finish a few menial tasks. Thought I'd blog from a different location.

Actually, my life has taken a different direction considering the actions and attitudes of others towards me and my rabbi's advice to "follow [my] own path"

I'm currently chatting with two lambs via Facebook and making a list of tasks to complete.

Today, it leaked out that I was apartment shopping in the downtown are near my studio and I was quickly greeted by a fellow downtowner/shop owner. "I hope you move closer Josh, so we see more of you!"

What funny is that the public wants to see MORE of me? How much more can you possibly see? I'm so publicly known and divluge so much over blog, twitter, facebook and josh-cooley.com that it's hard not to be seen more. (ha ha)

I had been this particular shop-owner's bakery many times before and even placed an order for Jax's birthday cookies a month early with her and she took the most diligent of care and detail and placed it precisely on each cookie. She told me today, "I've heard so much about you!"

I quickly and jokingly replied, "all good? I hope!"

She goes, "you're so well-known for your conversation skills and for being very good at what you do, knowing alot about what you do and being a total joy to be around."

I was so compimented by that lambs. It has been hard the last couple weeks. Especially last week and the week before. I've felt very ignored by two special people in my life or very taken for granted and, in fact, saw myself changing myself for the wrong reasons.

I mean, I thought I left Headlines to solidify publicly that I CAN'T be pushed around, you know?

I am a man of integrity and tell people all the time, "do not stay with someone who wants you to change.."

Wanting someone to change who they are and demanding it is NOT healthy.

Blogging, in this case (as an example), is a BIG part of who I happen to be. Behind the chair, I am super professional and love talking to my guests like it's a talk show while I explain colour application and cutting and styling techniques. The website is totally devoted to my business and you ALL know that I genuinely stay in contact with my fanbase and clientelle through Facebook and it's many features.

So, it's pretty given that my blog should be the "in depth" version of Josh. This would be the subject for each episode of a J Ry reality series and focus shortly on my talents as a stylist or buisness man. But the episodes would focus mainly on my interaction with my salon lambs, online community and the public and my projects and the termoil and interaction between the projects and my group of close-knit friends.

Lately, that quilt of friends has had a few snags. I have one chasing a career and wants me to drop everything and come along... that's not my dream: to be someone's shadow.

I have a good friend whom I'll never dump, but seems to be bothered by me because she's being left out of the loop.

I have a side-character who is quickly becoming a power-player (that's you Andrew! ha ha) -- he wants the best for me and is contantly threatening to slap the sense back into me.

My salon peer Janelle has been a rock lately and I adore her. As well as another stylist, Julie. They've been amazing.

My mum and dad have stepped back in as my nightly chat company and my lambs have, of course, been my reason for living.

Last week, I announced that JOSH was my priority from now on, and let me tell you, I can tell it's brothering a couple people. In fact, my apartment hunt has conjured many tweets, texts and e-mails between friends...

Julie is taking a huge move forward and booked a professional photoshoot and wants mentoring in this field. I have a guy that wants to be my assistant next summer that I'm considering interviewing and mentoring and Janelle has been the perfect salon peer and one of the only people I can stomach talking to. Andrew is the voice of reason in all this..

Saddest and best part of my life right now is seeing how the "reality series" starring me is being re-cast for a new season of fun and drama (I'm sure.)

Not to say that my two power players (that wish to remain nameless are completely gone), but they are showing me through their actions that they are electing themselves to be left in the shadows of my success and life.

Note to all: I am and will NEVER be in the shadows!

As I see the new line-up clearly in front of me, I'm happy that things are sifting themselves out, but I'm melancholy to see two of my cloesest confidantes exemplify the qualities of a royal douche. (point blank!)

I get told I act and speak out of ego and get called a bitch alot, but one thing I can tell you from past experience: I always come out on top... promise.

love you lambs. Thanks for following and love you for loving me back... it's what has gotten me out of bed these last three weeks...

Hearts forever,
J Ry


PS: I love all my friends, but sometimes, a re-cast has to happen to conserve what's left of the friendship. TTYL... follow me on twitter at http://www.twitter.com/prettyboyedu

Monday, August 2, 2010

2.13 - A story about making Josh my priority.

Good morning lambs.

It's about 2 am on a Monday.


It's been about a week since my last blog ..


It took alot out of me this week to not just delete my blogs, but they mean alot to alot of different people. I actually really love blogging. When I get a message from one of my lambs about how much they miss my blogs or when I see the feedback, it really makes my heart dance. You have no clue!


Last week, I may have divulged a little too much information regarding my subject and it's co-star. So much that I ended up deleting my post merely 12 hours after posting it. I would never do that normally, but it meant something for me to show the person I was writing about how much I cared for him.


For a week (almost), more like four days, I didn't recieve a call or a text and I began to miss him and really question my stance in the relationship as friends and beauty industry peers. As I made a phone call to my best friend to discuss it, I realized that after three days of her ignored texts and no response to my voice message, she probably was busy, but probably had no interest in answering my texts or talking about the subject matter, so Wednesday night, a teary eyed, red-lidded Josh turned his phone off for a day and half and slept on the situation.


I missed facebook chatter, texts from clients, e-mails, everything!


On Thursday evening, I turned the phone on to a message from Panda.


"Josh. We're ok. Stop!"


Okay, well maybe I went overboard with the stalker-status voicemails and texts.


I checked on my best friend. She said she had been busy with her kids.


I called my rabbi at The Kabbalah Centre and read his updates via e-mail.


"Josh, we're all at a point where we're debating whether to welcome change or accept things as they are. Always beware of the order beneath disorder and understand that sometimes you're exactly where you need to be."


How many times have I preached that very concept on this blog?


As Panda was in NY later this week, he called, he texted, he missed me.

My best friend was disconnected, but responded occasionally.


As I looked at the calendar turn to August and saw six weeks before Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year), I realized...


maybe things are changing for a reason.


Today, I opened my e-mail and Yehuda (my rabbi) wrote, "not all the co-stars are the stars of your movie, Josh. Remember, you are the only one in your own hands."


It all made sense as I talked to my mum over the kitchen table this afternoon after a Starbucks run.."I am the only one in my own hands."


That's why I left my last salon.

That's why I make creative and business decisions for myself.


One thing I've forgotten is applying that principle to my personal life.


Maybe, just maybe, the universe is nudging me to change my cast a little bit or to "re-cast" the order of priority they are.


Maybe, it's time to let Josh be Josh and ignore the cast for a while.


My friends Bri text me and told me after seeing a sad post on Facebook, "don't make someone a priority when they only make you an option."


I got many good morning and amazing texts from clientele that were worried about me and all I can say is thank you to Yvette, Trish, Belinda and Brandy.


And thank you to Panda for calling me from the airport

And thank you to Nasia for telling me the girls are your priority.


...right now, lambs. I think I just realized: Josh is MY priority.


xoxo.

Joshy.
Check out josh-cooley.com