Wednesday, August 11, 2010

3.03 - A story about the last thing you told me...

Hey lambs!

It's J Ry here at almost 12 midnight blogging a classic mid-week blog as I sip a Crown and Redbull and sit here with laptop and Diesel underwear. (Haha! What a visual)

Today was a HUGEly long day, but it all the right ways!

Busy, booked scheduled at the salon today and yesterday was the release of my huge-ass ad campaign all over the city with direct mail VIP Passes to over 50,000 homes in the area! OMG! That's huge! Never before in my life did I think I'd be capable of making this happen, but it has!

I immediately received phone calls. I'm so excited to record the success of this investment. Honestly. One of the best moves I've ever made and I'm pretty sure my big salon up the street that I divorced a couple months ago is shitting their panties. (sorry for THAT visual)

Tonight, after this fun day of celebrating my add and taking a ride down to one of my favourite coffee shops, I noticed the opening of a NEW salon in town. It looked so pretty from the sidewalk, I walked in and shouted, "Oh my god!! It's sooooooo pretty in here."

I met with the owner and another stylist and congratulated her on her effort. Opening a salon is tough, honestly. Owning your own business is tough. As I said hi and talked briefly I told her, "I had to come say hi because in this field you have peers, you DO NOT make enemies."

As I said my goodbyes and got my coffee and back in the car, I started wondering, did Nasia and Panda think I was trying to create an enemy in the pair of them along with the last artistic team I left? I hope not.

At the same time, the conscience decision to stop talking to me was in their free-will.

According to the direct and observed reports (ha ha / wink wink), Nasia is not digging my blog, and Panda stopped talking, texting, e-mailing and Facebooking after he returned from New York. It's sad. I love my friends with all my heart, but also take alot of shit from people I trust. I allow myself to be a doormat and let them push me and push me and talk above me like they ARE over me, when in fact, it's not so.

I'm sorry I'm not a family man, I'm sorry I'm not city enough for some people, but I'm not sorry for being me. Or having integrity.

I'm at the point of sadness after a break-up where you're angry and want to get even, but at the dawn of realizing, getting even is just like dragging it on and beating a dead horse, so, with that (and hoping the pair of them are reading), I release you of any obligation to me. Hands down.

I would love to re-establish all my bonds at a moment's notice if for some odd reason an ounce of humbleness was displayed.

In this world, it's all about protecting ourselves and keeping our own necks above water. And for years, I protected and kept an eye on all my friends and as some have sunken, I've let them, but the ones I tied imaginary floating devices to, turned around and took my one good water wing and wanted me to swim for my life or die. And that's not cool.

Maybe this space/separation was a long time coming and maybe, just maybe, Andrew was right...

I need to stand up for myself.

Tonight, I had sushi with the fabulous fashionista herself, Michelle. We tweeted about our dinner tonight and talked about relationships (or lack of) and work and people in high school and at that moment in time I realized, "I'm just fine."

When more than three dozen people tell you, "Josh, f--k 'em and move on..."

I would say that's a bold hint to move on and focus.

Sunday night, I ordered a slew of threads from design houses in preparation of my ad campaign and Fall fashion season 2010. Diesel, Christian Audigier, Cain & Abel, American Apparel and my boy Mo of Last Leaf Designs are all contributing to the newly rebuilt J Ry.

Joshua Ryan, Inc is in full swing with my apartment purchase nearly half-way done and my business in full throttle.

As I sent my last text last Friday to Panda and Nasia, I sent identical texts, "I miss you and love you. xoxo."

Not a reply.

The last thing Nasia told me was, "buy a journal."

The last thing Panda told me was, "I think you're stupid [and] stay up, I'll call you back" -- and never did.

The last thing I told each of them was "i love you."

Here's to love, here's to business, and here's to them... cheers!
They're gonna miss me.


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