Sunday, October 31, 2010

4.08 :: A story about having it all and snagging on one..

Hey lambs,

It's Josh here. Sitting at my desk in Studio J Ry sipping the rest of my Crown and Coke and thinking of things to continue writing about...


Well, this week was quite active in terms of people and friends, etc.


After my drunk texts from Leon this week, I sat baffled and the next evening had dinner with my good friend and fellow-stylist Brandis. Brandis is gorgeous! She's young, enthusiastic and passionate. She has this very pin-up style and Ruby Red hair that makes you ask "What did you use to get that?"


She's just amazing.


We talked about me, our salons, our love of hair, and many other random topics. One random topic happened to be Panda (Leon). As I filled her in on the history of Panda and I (please see Volumes 1-3), she sipped her drink and said with squinted eyes, "I really do not like this dude! I want to meet him just to get a view of this guy."


She's uber-sweet, so hearing the distain in her voice let me know I was in the right when allowing people the view into the naked window of my heart when it comes to matter of my, well, heart.


After parting ways, we decided to do it again and I found out at the end of the evening, I once again, had another person to add to my itinerary of regular eats and drinks...


My Friday was filled with an afternoon make-up shopping with ultra-hot friend, Andrew. Andrew and I talked about attitudes, etc and nervousness.


Lately, I've hit a new wall: a wall of nervousness when it come to doing his hair. WTF? Serious? I am so super intimidated by him that it affects my performance. In full discord with myself, we had to bring the subject up over a burger while I murderd three cocktails.


After our sworn peace-to-be at his next hair cut, I went to volunteer at an event for a non-profit organization slightly buzzed... the event, unfortunately, was not a money maker... I felt bad, but felt like the donation of my time was enough.


As the night grew darker, my favourite fashionista, Michelle and I met up and we had drinks to celebrate the birthday of my favourite twins, Anita and Annette and 3Below. After reliving my reggaeton roots and chatting up the place, we ran off and I crashed. Saturday was greeted to much dehydration from my crown/gin/whatever cocktail usage the night before and full book.


This morning, sleeping in felt good and as seeing that I do not celebrate Halloween (I know that burns a few my lambs arses), I felt that an evening with my mum after the full roster of my Brandis, Andrew, Michelle and numerous others this week, My mum would be the one to mellow me out.


As she text me that she was less that five minutes away, another text rang in, from guess who?


That's right!


Panda.


"Are you in town?" he asked.


"I'm with company" I replied.


"I wanted to know if you'd like to have a drink with me before my gf (girlfriend) gets back"


ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS??!?!?! He has a girlfriend?!?!?!


Serious?


Why would anyone text me that?


It always plays over and over again in my head that Panda never made me a priority, just an option.


And again, here I am being presented as the option. I replied, "No, I'm sorry, my friend. Have a safe night. Maybe some other time."


And then, I just shut my phone off.


As I thought over and over again, it brainfucked me... why is with a girl now? He told me forever that women were not his thing, and being known to have a bi-bone in my body in terms of women, people always labled me as "Gross" or "Double-dipping."


Could it be? Is he straight now?


And secondly, do you know how sad it feels to know that I was never good enough for a boyfriend and he's now with a women?!


That's a confidence buster!


Part of me wants to know why he's texting me recently outta nowhere and part of me wants to just sit down with him and be nosey and ask questions, but the biggest part of me is sad still and wants to tear up thinking about all the wrong he did.


So, here's the part I have to ask?


How should I have reacted?


In a world full of success, wealth and friends, why does this one keep snagging at the afghan of my heart muscle?


xoxo.

Josh

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

4.07 :: A story about keeping it "hush-hush"

Oh Lambs,

Where do I start?

I'm super tardy writing this blog tonight, but I have a promise that I will write again tomorrow, yes, yes, I mean it.

So, so much has happend in my life thus far that it gets harder and harder to conjure up exactly where to start! It's almost midnight and I'm sitting at Studio J Ry after a long conversation with my mum.

We've been talking alot lately about me possibly starting the plans on my own (yes, very own) studio.

The subject has been brought up more time than I can count within the last two weeks by more individuals...and then of them were me!

It's crazy to believe people have the confidence in me and I doubt myself as much as I do. The concept is something very hush-hush and very Josh. At the same time, keeping something hush-hush is hard for me... and very not-Josh.

I can tell you, however, that I do have alot of creative projects on the buffet line of my life. I have recently contacted an art gallery to start work on a possible art installation in Summer 2011. As I stay hush-hush about the theme, all I can tell you is that, I want to bring the masses the art of hair, the surrealism and the inspiration and the avante-garde side of what I do.

I think this will be the best way to flex my creative muscle. I've flexed my marketing muscle, my writing muscle with the book and the column. The books is almost done with editing. I've flexed by fashion muscle with the new column out next month and the possible re-creation of Shampoo Boy with Lastleaf Designs.

My next goal is to take my art side and express it by entering the NAHAs (North American Hairstyling Awards) and presenting an art installation. The working title of the art installation is "Flawless". Although, let's keep that hush-hush.

I recently had someone express they're wanting to become a personal fixture in my life and as I went out for an evening of cocktails and abandoned singlehood, I simply said, "this is hush-hush".

And that's when I realized, I do not want anyone.

I do not want an individual in my life to love at this point. My love is my art, is my career, is my life.

Right now, the studio, the salon, the creative projects and my clients ARE my significant other.

As I told my mum of the cool things I have in mind and the possible creation of a salon for open in 2012, I hung up and was greeted by a text message from Panda (Leon).

Yep, Panda.

The message said, "I hope you're well."

I replied, "thank you."

Minutes went by.

Another text rang in, he gave me an explanation of why he wanted to talk to me and asked where I was at. I said, at my house.

He said, "Where?"


I said, "downtown"

He said, "come over and have a glass of wine with me"

What do you think my reply was?

..................."I am flattered, my friend, but no, not tonight. I will always have a space in my heart for you. I had a genuine deep love for you and I don't know what went wrong. In fact, it was a brainfuck to me, in all honesty. I was obsessed and foolish. I'm sorry, but not tonight."

He never replied.

Well, maybe he did, but for now, all I can tell you is that we need to keep that hush-hush..

xoxo.
Josh

PS: come back tomorrow for more.

Monday, October 18, 2010

4.06 :: A story about being "green"

Hi lambs,

How are you? It's a chilly Monday afternoon and I'm wearing a black, long-sleeve henly and typing with chipped-black lacquered nails.


Not only am I lacking a proper manicure, I'm also lacking groceries. Grocery shopping is the minor to-do on my long to-do list of returning phone calls, booking appointments, etc... running errands and sleeping.


Yesterday, I was out of town at an amazing Toni & Guy/TIGI Advanced class, I absolutely adored it! The educator was a 2x NAHA Winning artist. NAHA, for your information, stands for the North American Hairstylist Awards. That is THE OSCAR of our industry and she won two years in a row for Editorial stylist of the year and fashion forward stylist of the year.


Meeting her gave me hope that I was on the right path and that NAHA is super attainable. I've dreamt of winning one and giving it to mum for years!


Yes, you read that right, giving it to my mum. It was my mum who sent me to beauty school when she realized I would not be happy being a graphic designer and being "assigned" jobs to be artistic. She knew that I would have to work into my success and learn how to call the shots.


This afternoon, I just got back from a meeting with my editor from PULP Magazine. My first piece is completed and will be published in the next issue of PULP. My second ad campaign will also launch in the next couple days and let me tell you, the need for an assistant is growing!!


I was recently asked at an event Friday evening who I was dating and the reply was, "no one, of course"


When asked if I'd ever, I had to tell the interested party, "it's okay to get to know me and want ot hang out, but keep in mind, my career is my #1 priority. It's okay to be interested in me, but my time with my clients, my family and my business in-salon and extra projects will always come first."


As I looked at this sentence over text and replayed it in my mind all night, I realized as soon as I grow and grow and grow, there will be a time when I need to hire a staff to manage me. When a "Salon" happens. .. that will happen.


I remember being told when I left Headlines that I'd have no clients, no success and that I was "green"- Green meaning young and unexperienced.


When Veronica, with her 2 NAHAs told us yesterday "Green" was good.


"Green means you have room to grow. Ripe means you have room to rot."


That made me smile and I realized that this educator and accomplished artist KNEW what she was talking about...


"Ripe mean you room to rot.."


Yep-- sounds like some pros I know.


In the past, I have been called "bitchy, diva, unforgiving, perfectionist, over-the-top, dillusional, rude, blunt..." and let me tell you-- Veronica showed me her humblesness and speaking with her and receiving praise from her made me realize: I'm just fine.


I'm on the right path, just as I've known... and all haters are rotting... I never stopped growing. When you start to rot, you tend to judge harsher "Greener" plants in the industry or in your life.


It's time to pull some weeds...


xoxo.

Josh


PS: I need winter clothes... lol... random thought.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

4.05 :: A story about couture living and being "fashionable" without trend.

Good morning lambs,

It's a Thursday morning at Studio J Ry and I'm finishing up an ellaborate breakfast, coffee and mint-infused water with lime. If you've ever noticed in the history of the blog, I tend to share with you within the first few sentences what I'm sipping or noshing on.

Food is so incredibly important to me. I am the son of a Spanish trained-chef, so cusine is TOP for me (after HAIR) obviously.

Today is, for once, a day off for me away from the salon. I had a numerous amount of clients tell me, "what is your idea of a day off?"

Well, this sounds funny, but on my days off, I get up early, and prepare an ellaborate breakfast. I often joke that I do not cook at all, that is completely false! I hold my own very f--king well in the kitchen, thank you very much. LOL!

One thing you'll never find in my kitchen is milk and you'll never really find alot of meat. I'm kosher, so Pork is off limits completely, along with shellfish. I order pizza and that becomes maybe the only exception! (ha ha)

My diet is not so I have this amazingly fit body, I couldn't give a shit about trying to look like a model! I'm 5'3''. It's NOT gonna happen. I'm a short Irish-Spanish kid that does hair and wears more eyeliner than most girls in this city, but one thing I can tell you is that I'm super super genuine.

I say what I feel and mean what I say. So my feelings and integrity are in every single sentence spoken and written.

My latest project is finishing up Studio J Ry. I have let a few VIPs tour it. It's a small tour, but a tour, none-the-less. I will have pictures and open house very very soon! One thing I'm working on today on my day away from the salon is my samples for PULP. We'll see how that goes. I really believe that this pairing WILL happen.

My main focuse of the colum is going to be fashion, trends and social life. Three things I can tell you I'm all about. Now, part 2 of that is that I NEED TO STEP UP MY GAME!! I boast about fashion and wear the same uniform: Diesel jeans and black American Apparel or Armani tee. I normally have tons of accessories and ellaborate belt buckles and shoes...

So, it's time to get out of the box a bit.

Time to study up and flex my fashion muscle.

I don't think fashion is all about couture or what you're wearing. I think fashion is a lifestyle. I think somone can live very fashionably. I think breakfast is fashionable. If you have a good breakfast and find it therapeutic to cook like my mum or I, then it sets you off on a good note. You have an appreciation for this amazing culinary delight you just created. Frying an egg is very basic, but placing it on a bed of dijon, spinach and turkey bacon on a crustini makes it very couture for food... that to me, is very fashionable- that is haute couture in the kitchen.

I think a stylist can do any haircut, but a flick of the comb or the way the hold their shears can turn them into an expert. It's a lifestyle this "living fashionable" thing. I think I live very fashionable. I think my friends and clients live very runway lives.

They are powerful and control the scene!

It doesn not mean you are trendy, by any means!! Chanel wore the same black dress, black pump or Chanel suit. She took off one accessory on the way out the door- that methodically made her fashionable. Karl Lagerfield wears the same recipe or "formula" if you will when dressing in a tight S&M Style suit with cinched necktied and gawdy necklace- that makes him "fashionable."

Last example, I promise, is Tom Ford. he wears the same amazing Zegna or Gucci suit and has a filthy mind. No one ever calls him on it... that makes HIM "fashionable" because he made it his own.

I made Diesel, Alexander McQueen and American Apparel "fashionable" for me.

So, my words to you are to live fashionably, not on trend. Whatever makes you "fashionable" makes YOU stand out. So, don't worry about others. Remember, it's a Lifestyle, not a "look"

Heart and much love... ps: eat breakfast, it makes a world of difference!
xoxo.
J Ry

Monday, October 11, 2010

4.04 :: A story about changing the filters and possibly piecing the broken glass together..

Good evening lambs,

I'm sitting here in some amazing Diesel jeans and vintage boxing shirt sipping an Iced Coffee thinking of a subject to write about for my yet-to-be-authored sample column for PULP Magazine.


As the weeks have gone on, I find myself always sooo busy and scrambling for time . But it's only about 10pm and my best writing comes at midnight. The theme will come soon, I can feel it.


So, on a recent outing with my mum to complete buying furniture for Studio J Ry, the subject of Leon was brought up and if I'd heard from him. The answer is no. The long version is this is, "no, I haven't and I don't care to hear from him ever again."


You may quote me.


"ever again.."


In these past few weeks of decorating and collaborating with mostly myself, I've found that the Josh-filter keeps catching alot of characteristics that prevent most people in my grasp from attaining the holy title of "best friend".


There really isn't a more perfect candidate than my mum or Nasia and I in our prime, so, the filtering system in place is set to VERY HIGH.


One thing about operating with absolutely no best friend in my life is that my trust in most people is gone. Yep, gone. The moments when someone can prove themselves to me are often missed by a mere few points and the fact hat I weigh a person's character so heavy make me such a Libra and less a Virgo.


So, recently brought to my attention, I heard that I may be known within the gay community as a "bitch". I'm (as I've heard) picky, egotistical, don't give people a fair chance, and no one is ever good enouhgh- that sounds accurate.


In the business world, I am a "marketing genius". -- again, pretty accurate.


In the beauty industry, "a greater talent than even I know..." not sure what to say about that.


One thing I could always depend on when I had Nasia around was that she would keep me grounded. As I text her back and forth now, I find my closeness is not as close as it once was. I can feel the wall being put up from her and as she's stated that her pregnancy has taken alot of her energy and I understand, I am left with an absence of words.


I'm truly happy that she has her kids and her husband and her career and love that her clients adore her, but I miss my time with her. I miss my best friend.


My creative collaborator is gone. Janelle has taken on the role as my business collaborator. Jules my drinking collaborator. Michelle fills my fashionista void. Andrew my venting collaborator and the realist of all my friends that reminds me of my humanity and my mum is still my mentor and manager of Joshua Ryan, Inc.


But my best friend position is yet to be filled. In my pursuit of filling this void, I'm left to ask the following:


Do I keep searching in a world of people not-so-perfect for the job OR

Do I ask for Nasia to come back?


Feedback is appreciated

xoxo.

Josh


PS: I'll leak my PULP submittion soon... Stay tuned.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

4.03 :: A story about being blessed and having it all ..

Hi lambies,

It's Josh Cooley typing from my balcony at Studio J Ry.

Oh my goodness... what to write about..

Honestly, life is beautiful.

I wake up every single morning about 3:30 or 4 and see the ceiling and the decor and space and think to myself, "I REALLY live here?"

Studio J Ry is amazing. I'm still decorating and hoping to have it COMPLETE by the end of the month. I'm in the market for a large canvas over the red couch and a bed, yes, a bed.

I STILL have not bought a bed for Studio J Ry. My bed room is not existent. I defenitely have not had the time, first and foremost, but now is time to make it happen...

This evening, I have a promotional event going on in support of Breast Cancer Awareness. I convinced my entire team to join me in promoting the salon and rocking out some complimentary services and introducing brand new spanking products we have not yet unleashed to our Rockstar clientele.

In a couple weeks, I'll be heading back to Toni and Guy Academy and rocking it out again for the second time doing advanced technical training. That's exciting. I have a benefit fashion show lined up for November and hopefully some holiday time away. Not sure yet.

My life has been go go go and right now I need rest rest rest.

Promoting myself, promoting the salon, the website, the re-emmergence of the Shampoo Boy line, possible deals with Last Leaf Designs, PULP Magazine and my manuscript seem like a lot, but it's all in a days work.

And to boot: I have a girl that wants to apprentice me...

Man!

Joshua Ryan, Inc is certainly taking off.

Today, I had a partial interview with L'Oreal and a full book. It was LITERALLY THE BIGGEST business day I've EVER had...

I wake up at 4 am, not only to lay in belief that I've made it to Studio J Ry and Joshua Ryan, Inc, but to thank my Creator for the opportunity to share.

To share talent, kindess, intergrity and all my world with you... my guests... my lambs.

And as I talk about resting, it gets difficult because I think of all the projects and fun things I want to show you.

That makes me so grateful that you want to play show and tell and that keeps me up at 4 am and 2 am and 12 am. Writing a blog at midnight, dozing to sleep at 2 and chatting online with you til then, and waking up at 4 am and thanking G-d that I have had this blessed opportunity.

Thank you for allowing me to get to this point.

Without you I wouldn't have any of it.

And right now, I feel like I have it all.
xoxo.
Josh

Sunday, October 3, 2010

4.02 :: A story about professional recognition and personal judgments.

Hi lambs and doll faces,

It's Joshy here at midnight typing typing typing and sipping sipping sipping a cup of half-warm, half-cool coffee. I just returned a few hours ago from a hairshow and I'm still unpacking. Yes, still.


Lots of cool stuff in the works, I can't even begin to start thinking about it. Professionel stuff mostly. My persona life is actually not as dramatic as you may think, it's mostly (how should I say this) eventful.


I spent alot of time at functions and paying bills this week. Truly. For example, if Rachel Zoe had an alter-ego, it would be me and my only goal at this point is to become just like her in my chosen field. So many people have brought up the topic of "moving" to me. I have no desire.


I'd much rather travel back and forth. And I'm sticking to that concept. I've done the hairshow thing back and forth to L.A., avoiding trips to heated NYC and back and forth to locales likes Houston, Chicago and Denver. And for me, that's all fun. Honestly, fun is the word.


I had a massive time at the PULP awards this weekend and re-ignited my love affair with Twitter! My Blackberry is the closest thing in contact with me daily. I'm surprised I haven't caught a cold from my own phone!


I literally attempted to tweet the entire awards show! It was tough because five cocktails later, I was gone. No more Josh. On a good note, the crowd loved me. In terms of popularity, my stock has risen! In terms of personal popularity, it's going down within my social group of friends. With two friends both leaving me and me and Jules bolting her boyfriend and his mates at stop #2 of our five bar appearances that night, I had a mad amount of messages, texts, blogs, twitters about me both good and bad. And honestly, most of them were good and welcoming from the public! On the bad side, I had a one gnarly review from a friend of mine. He has claimed that he wants to start blogging me in search of understanding me and descaling the essence of Josh.


In my orgy of twitters and twit-pics on Thursday night, a friend of mine made an appearance at the PULP Awards all the way from Denver. I greeted him, took a pic and as the night went on and we played catch-up, I told him, "didn't you read the blog?!?" at some point and he replied, "I don't read about you."


"I'll form my own opinions of you, Josh." he told me.


I was offended.


It just felt appropriate for my ego to deflate in offense in response to his ignorance of my narsicism. (I liked that sentence, just now)


As the night goes on, he seemed detached and critical and full of animosity. I told him this, he claims I rubbed myself all over him and made an arse of myself. In terms of foddling anyone, I don't agree. In terms of making of arse of myself, I think most people were complimenting me and still are.


The following night, he text and chatted with me online and made me very aware that he was offended by my actions and also told me that in the case of EVER having a relationship with me, he would "never give [me] a chance." and that he would also "never hook-up with [me]"


So, if you can see, my professional life in terms of Josh Cooley: the personality is amazing. In terms of personal life and Josh Cooley: the person, it's very mixed.


My friends are consistency critical of me and when I greet or exit them with an air kiss, real kiss and hug and they are, in fact, offended, it's rude to me. It's stupid. I feel like a friend should understand that drunk/fun Josh is having fun and that EVERYONE in a social setting should understand alcohol and people and their actions are totally forgivable. We all want to have a good time and hurting someone's feeling while under the influence is just dumb. It's never on purpose I've found and it's one person being judgemental normally.


As I went to this weekend's hair show, I found myself on the other side of the table. I had a sales rep that became a bit boistrous with me in the hotel's bar and I told her to chill out. The next morning, she came to me and apologized. I told her, "What for?"


She said, "for last night, I'm sorry."


I told her, "when people are in a social setting and alcohol is involved, I never hold it against them. You'd know if I was upset with you."


I feel like my friend at the awards should have said the same. Instead he held it all against me and brought my dirt out in a converstion online. What a time for dirt!


As my sales rep continued talking, I looked at her and walked away and told her, "really, it's okay. I'll see you next week."


And really, for me, it was okay.


That's how I knew in my heart, as a person being judged by another, I am not like him. I am not a person judging her for her alcohol-induced actions, it's not fair to her. Just like it wasn't fair for him to make that comment to me repeatedly.


As a professional, I love my crowd, as a person, sometimes I fucking hate it.
For me, the professional side of things is funner than the personal side of things and having to repeatedly defend and explain myself.


xoxo.

Josh


PS: the picture above is of me and Jules at the PULP Awards. Follow me on Twitter for additional adventures and more Pretty Boy news at www.twitter.com/prettyboyedu