It's about 1:30 on Tuesday morning and I'm sipping a cup of Dunkin' Donuts coffee over my laptop at Casa de Cooley. So, get this, yesterday morning around 3 am, I wrote the entire blog entry I was about to post and as I went to hit "save", I hit "delete" in it's place.
Not cool at all.
I guess that means that as good as the blog was, it wasn't meant to be. And as I began to think, in frustration, and then in silence and after a couple of breaths, maybe, just maybe, it was a good call that I hit delete. Yes, I believe it was a Divine intervention, if you will, as not to satire my life more than I needed to or to trangress against one particular person, so, that is that.
So, what I wanted to start off with was to tell you, I went out Sunday evening with my mum and saw the second installment of "Sex and the City" and (of course) I loved it. And of course I identified with none other than the Divine Carrie herself.
What a narrator!
What a character!
How does one fictional entity become so relateable to so many across not only New York City, but across this country and across the world? Candace Bushnell could not have seen that wave of success coming from a small press paperback first published in 1996. (I was 12, btw) -- what did I know about sex?
The movie is so funny as it takes place with Carrie saying, "two years have passed".
What's funny is that exactly two years ago in May when the original movie came out, my best friend, Nasia and I had ventured out for a day of cocktails and 'Sex..'
I think about me and her two years ago and it's funny how we have changed so much like the characters in the movie.
She was in a downward spiral of a relationship (actually in the middle of throwing her boyfriend out at the time) and was just beside herself: though she loved the man. I hated him. He was so into his work and personally I felt he was so verbally abusive to Nasia. Always telling her she wasn't giving 100%, when the M.F. himself didn't invest any love or validation into their four-year fling.
I was, at the time, spending lots of my time with Nasia and still establishing a clientele and was doing educational work for American Crew in Denver. What a long way we've come in two years.
Two years ago: me and Nasia texted constantly- in the car, at each other's houses, at the salon. I had no problem helping her with her clients or establishing the fact that I was not a completely booked artist. I also wore zero eyeliner at the time.
Now, "two years have passed" (excuse my inner Carrie), Nasia is happily married to a man that loves her and gave birth to my godson Jaxton who will be having a first birthday this month! She's not in the salon 100% anymore, but is one hell of a mama!
I, on the other hand, have exploded, dubbed myself a "Rockstar Stylist", began doing educational work for CHI and am busier than ever finishing up my manuscript this month and have a few new additions to my life: I have Panda, for one. Who is my shining star and #1 validator, my biggest fan and someone I love with all my heart and have all my salon lambs, my website, twitter, a whole online community and a few new projects in the works. All this work!
Where is my Nasia? Where is what we had two years ago? (you'll see where I'm going with this)
So, in the movie, Charlotte and Carrie have a very under-rated tension between the two of the them. Charlotte is obviously overwhelmed at home with two kids and Carrie, after the release of a new book about marriage is at a point with Big where things look a little, shall we say, stale.
Big suggests to Carrie he take two days away a week as a break from Carrie after she explodes and runs off to her old apartment to work on her freelance work for Vogue. Charlotte looks at this as a sign of a "bad marriage".
As I saw the tension grow between what Charlotte views as marriage and Carrie views as a good marriage, I saw the parrallel between Nasia and I now (two years later).
I often run home to Casa de Cooley three to four days a week when I'm not spending time 'living the dream' with Panda in his downtown loft. I saw the same parallel of Big proposing break time to Carrie as Panda did a few weeks back when my life was too much to handle and said, "I need my space".
In the end, Carrie and Big are always going to be Carrie and Big and Big always saves the day as the bigger man just as Panda saves the day for me- all the time.
Charlotte and Carrie have a slightly hurtful moment between the two of them when Carrie snaps, "you just don't get it" or simply looks down in discord at Charlotte's opinion of her. I do the same alot when Nasia voices an opinion of me.
The main thing in the movie is seeing how each character has aged physically and internally. Miranda quits her high-demand, no-validation job and is FUN for a change. Samantha is battling menopause, but the same fiesty Samantha, but Carrie has a little bit of an "air" about her.
She defenitely has changed from the girl that we grew to love in the dirty apartment overlooking an empty New York street. Carrie is very CB2 or Giada DeLaurentiis with a little money and Big in her pocket.
I saw her and saw a huge portrait of me. I've been accused of acting strange lately or changing or acting "different" than I used to and realized, yes. Everthing Panda has told me about ego and space is true. Everything Nasia told me about changing is true and everything all my friends have said about me being overwhelming- yes, that's true too.
I saw Carrie's change and Carrie's progression in myself and saw Big and Charlotte as Panda and Nasia. Although, I'm not romantically involved with Panda, the characterization of him as my rock and foundation in my life now speak volumes. He's the "night in shining army", if you will, and the ever-strong, ever going business man on top of his game and very well put together and set in his ways.
Today, I went shopping for Panda's birthday. Today, is in fact, his birthday and I have a small, exclusive party planned for him on Saturday evening. Just cocktails and close friends. He means so much to me and as I look at him as a huge part of my "sequel" (two years later), I realize how important he and Nasia are to me and how they will never ever ever leave my story.
Nasia is expecting baby number four this December (she announced last month) and I'm planning Jaxton's first birthday with her and even talking baby names for the new addition to my life.
I think to myself as a changing Carrie, yeah, I've changed, but we all have.
I think it's for the better. I think it makes a great story and I know deep in my heart a story full of these above listed invididuals is all I've ever wanted and that even though Carrie had an attitude and was a little Divalicious in this film, her friends never gave up on her. Big never gave up on her and they certainly NEVER gave up on each other.
So, with that, lambs, I leave you with this quote I saw on Facebook a couple days back (when I deleted the original blog):
'Never give up on something or someone that you cant go a day with out thinking about'
That's my career.
That's all of you reading.
And that is certainly, me.
xoxo -- happy birthday panda.