Monday, June 20, 2011

6.05 :: I'm grounded... and growing up.

Good evening lambs!
It's our favourite haute mess coming to you from right here at Studio JRy. I'm sipping the restof a Heineken and preparing for my week.
For once, I had a day off and did almost nothing today. Well, I did do something: I took care of me. I had a facial, a manicure, a tan and tomorrow morning, I'm to greet my day with a major work out. I'm at the end of my day which involved catching up on DVRed shows and working on my book. Yep, my book.
My started righting my book about two years ago and then situations happened with me and Headlines and then I wanted to write-in Panda as a character in the book and basically butchered my own book. It was not along the creativity that I exude or the integrity.
So, I went through files and jumpdrives and meditated heavily on Sunday and decided to re-write a concept of my book. In this case, there is no working title yet. It's just "the book".
This last week was incredibly busy (of course) and I dropped an ad campaign that hit 50,000 homes in the area once again and keeping up with the requests was tough. Not just requests, but the e-mails and phone calls have gotten unbearable, which brings me to announce to you officially that I will announce the name of the salon and start OFFICIALLY registering a salonspace within the next few months. My estimated time needed is 8-12 months of growth and moving and a campaign that rivals anything I've done.
I leaked this information offficially on Twitter last week and then announced it to my exclusive group of VIP Clients and then virally on Facebook. Publicly, people would see me and ask me "What's the name?"
"When do you open?"
"Got a location?"
Between those questions a massive week, I went out to eat majorly last week and filled in my date book. This has put into perspective the need for me to 'lay-low' this week publicly... lol. I made a vow to just chill at home and then about 2 hours later got a text from my good friend Lisa about going out for dinner on Wednesday for a mutual friends' birthday. How can I say "no"? I adore miss Lisa.
Also, with the week being super active, I took the opportunity to pal around with a client on Friday night which lead us to many different locations. One of them being the dreaded B Street Bash that I do not attend due to always finding a conflict!
I agreed to go to B Street and then off I went for about five minutes with my friend and low and behold, there was a Tish and the the entire Headlines crew. I knew that I should not have been out that night! ESPECIALLY because this always seems to find me.
I went over.
I said hi to Tish.
HISTORY LESSION: I will always say hi to Tish because she gave me my opportunity in this business. How could I snub the woman that brought me into this industry? I can't!
I went over and said hi. She hugged me like she missed me and I the same. Immediately, the quetions and firing squad hit me... "Why are you taking about my mom?" her sister said. "What happened between you and Nasia?" "Why are you talking shit about us?" "Why can't we all get along?"
Then the comment, "you can't bash someone to make yourself look better."
I turned around and defended myself and said, "it has been a tough year emotionally. I did alot of wrongs and alot of rights and I own them! I'm not running. We've all said stuff in anger."
It was true.
I have agreed to just let this situation be what it is: drama.
I went to talk to one of the girls and give her a hug and she scooted away and said, "I don't want to talk to you. You make us look bad. You ran your mouth."
I said abubtly, "YOU RAN YOURS!!"
She shared with me that when I talk about someone there it makes them all look bad. Yep, I know.
I know that. No denying. I know what I'm doing and how to use my persona.
Also, she pointed out that a client of mine and online friend had been sharing blogs, twitter messages and Facebook posts with her about what I've said.
I was floored when she said who it was.
I also accepted that if I am a so-called 'public personality' that those kind of things are going to happen.
I'm not about denying what I said, nor do I intend to say sorry for something I don't need to apologize for. The end of this encounter finished when she left me and rolled her eyes. Another bites the dust. Fuck it.
As I turned around, I hear "Joshua!"
Guess who it was?
It was Nasia.
We hugged and I wanted to cry. "I miss you, darling. I miss you alot. But I'm over the drama between you and I. It's bullshit, dude!"
She agreed and we talked about what was said the night I ran into the girls. As I was taking to Nasia, one of the Headlines girls interrupted and I just glared at her. She was at the bar the night I saw her. She was one of the three that ran her mouth!
She says, "I don't like the way you're looking at me. What?"
I said, "you ran your trap, J!"
She got really upset and immediately through the new guy under the bus. "HE said that to Nasia. I didn't even talk to her. But you said she was over us. It was so fucking rude of you, Josh."
"No it rude of you to run your mouth as a threesome the next day" I said.
"But I'm over that... if you said he ran his... where is HE?"
I look over and New Stylist (as he'll be referred) was there. I said, "why are you running your trap? You broke me and Nasia up again?! Do you need a sense of approval from her because I have YEARS invested in her!!"
He rolled his eyes and ignored me and I started to talk to Tish. She asked for no drama..
He rolled his eyes again and started taking to Nasia about me.
I turned around and yelled, "I'm really over your fucking mouth!"
He says, "why do you talk shit about me and you don't know me?"
I said, "why did you run your face?"
He didn't answer.
I go, "you're fucking jealous because you've done hair longer than I have and you're NOT successful. You try so hard to be liked and you have a reputation for talking about your own friends! How dare you use my friends against me!??!"
He said, "I love my salon, Josh. You seem unhappy and angry still."
Did he have a point, oh yeah. Did I want him to run his face? Absolutely not.
"you look real stupid right now, " I said. Continued, "I'm not about you. You don't exist... you're trying too hard and I will not have it."
I walked out of B Street Bash and went home.
I turned my phone off and the next day had two voicemails from Tish and some messages from Tish and Nasia. Tish had wanted me to stay and did not want any of this to happen. They had both spent the evening calming New Stylist down.
The next night, feeling really low for using my ego, I went out alone and it did not go well. I was having fun with a bunch of friends and got mouthy...
That's when I realized. My ego is o.o.c. (out of control).
With the salon opening in a year, a book in the works, and people knowing who I am publicly, I need to chill out. I need to get rest, eat right and stay home. At least this week.
I realized this week that I do not take out my stress against people during the day, but when I'm alone. It should never happen. I decided I needed to ground myself. So, I am going to take my time this week and focus all of the energy I put into negativity and drinking into a time-consuming investment that is either neutral or productive. The two involve working on my book and catching up on DVRed shows. HAHA. Ones's productive and one's neutral. Either way, I'm over the Headlines deal. It's become a circus act everytime I'm around them.
Sometimes, when we grow up we call this a break, and sometimes when we act immaturely, we call this growing up.

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