In Conclusion.... a pretty boy learns his lesson and grows up.

Good morning lambs,

It's 12 midnight on a Thursday morning. Yes, technically, this is morning.

I'm sipping on a bottle of Aquafina and contemplating alot of new addtitions in my life and lamenting alot of voids.

It's come to me, after nearly a month of meditating, that I shall continue writing and pursuing my writing as a form of catharsis, however, I am announcing officially that I am ending "Pretty Boy Education". Currently, we are in volume six.

I generally write 13 blogs per volume. The blog has officially been around for two years. I've had plenty of readers. Alot of people have learned lessons from my blog and applied them to their own life. Alot of people have "cyber-spied" (not really, it's a public blog) and taken things offensively from this very blog.

My goal has never been to offend anyone. I have not ever written something I never had the intention of telling someone to their face or hadn't already said to them. I'm a big fan of controversy and public relevance and for a long time, the blog kept my life relevant.

Lately, I feel as though the blog I love so dearly, may be part of an undoing I never want to come to. I do not foresee losing in business nor losing the business I have now. As I took the last twenty days to mediate and not voice my opinion outloud, I have had alot of malicious rumours and postings about me on the internet and in public and for me, you can say something in public and the word travels. That doesn't matter to me, but to use MY platform (the internet) and write malicious things about me is attacking my livelihood.

I built myself mostly in the age of twitter, facebook, myspace, social networks and running promotions online. As soon as i built myself up, I went to paper-media. Advertisting in local publications and online on various websites.

My business has grown.

I have grown as a person.

With the announcement of my salon opening next year, I cannot afford to have any "unnecessary drama" and have decided to end my blog.

Pretty Boy Education has been primarily about life-lessons I've learned. Sometimes I made the right decision, sometimes, I acted unsoundly and unlogically and did not profit at all except for a ride through the rumour mill.

With the evolution I've gone through this past year, I have found that I'm most valued when I'm a mentor. And one thing mentors do not do is gossip.

Gossip is part of this blog and as such, I have to decapitate the creature known as PBE and say good-bye.

I've got Joshua Ryan, Inc, Rockstars + Lambs, "Haute Mess", my manuscript and new adventures to focus on. I simply do not have time for a gosspy little blog.

All you need to know is that I've learned. I'm on to better things, I'm on to creating an empire.

This has been fun, but the controversy does not make me, the tell-all style is a style I loved, but I must bid you all farewell.

I will begin a new adventure in August and hope you all come along for the ride.

I have some amazing friends on my side. Andrew is the always there for me and "keeps me real", Michelle is my main fashionista and reminds me to be fabulous and Lisa keeps me theatrical and wishing for more.

My mom, as you all know, is my best friend, in it's official sense. She knows me in and out.

I cannot and will not fail at my life and have only one thing left to say:

"do what you do. Do it your way, don't ask questions, don't get caught up in yourself, don't use your ego, just do you. Just be your best you and do what you feel guides you to the Light however it is you see that".

With all my love,

Josh Cooley

www.josh-cooley.com

facebook.com/studiojry

twitter.com/studiojry

A Letter from Studio J Ry via Casa de Cooley

Dear lambs, followers, reader on Twitter, blogspot, Facebook and my website:

I wanted to take the opportunity to apologize for the year of drama. It's not my intention to appear that way. Actually, I'm quite a business person and have very little personal time to myself. Alot of my "drama" between salons and other hairdressers, friends, flings, etc. has been escalated by not only myself, but the fact that we live in an age of social media.
It is bizarre to me that people NOT connected online have information, but it also reminds me that the internet is omnipresent to everyone. One Google search makes for a very intersting ride. When it comes to me, my record is pretty clean professionally. Personally, we all know very well, I do not get along with my last salon, but primary one person in particular.
I have always wanted to create a persona of "friendliness" and approachability and my goal moving forward into branding myself and the Joshua Ryan, Inc name with ventures like "Haute Mess" and ROCKSTARS + LAMBS (Opening 2012) gives me no chance to have drama or scandal (neither external or self-inflicted).
With that said, the goal of my Facebook page is to engage my clients and friends. Not to "leak" gossip or rumours. I have never created a rumour. I don't do that. If someone misheard or thought I was being vicious, that's him/her. I have too much going for me to be allowed the static.
For all things drama, my blog is posted.
For all things dish and trend, I tweet.
For all of you, there is Facebook.
Those who know me intimately and closely understand who I am and where I'm coming from, those who think I'm gossiping, well, "delete" buttons do exist, honey.
Have a fabulous weekend. And always know, that even in my humble or lonely moments, I am still and will always be a Rockstar.

-Josh Cooley

THE MISSION OF PRETTY BOY EDUCATION IS TO GIVE AN INSIDER'S GUIDE TO ME, THE PERSON. MY OPINIONS AND VIEWS ARE MERELY WHAT I SAY THEY ARE, OPINION AND VIEWS FROM MY OWN PERSPECTIVE. MALICIOUS RUMOURS ARE CREATED IN THE MIND OF THE READER AND THIS BLOG IS NOT ABOUT RUMOURS; IT'S ABOUT "MY SIDE OF THE STORY" AND MY LIFE.

The blog will be on hiatus until August 1st, 2011.

6.06 :: All eyes forward.. who's coming with me?

Good morning lambs!

It's almost 1 am as I type this from, get this, Casa de Cooley. I am sitting at my parents' kitchen table. The house is silent. Everyone is in bed and all that is on are the laptop screen, the light above the kitchen sink and my Blackberry. I'm sipping an organic cane soda and wanted to bring you my blog whilst I was deep in thought back at home.

I ran off to my parents' house Saturday after shutting everything off from the salon and announced via Twitter (and accidentally to a client's cell phone) my plans to "runaway" for the weekend.

As you may know, I feel like I'm on shaky ground with Anthanasia. She hates when I talk about her or write about her, so what I can tell you that is pivotal in my development as a strong solo act and my own man is that Sunday was Jaxton's 2nd birthday and I kindly chose not to attend. I will send a card in the morning with a generous gift card to The Children's Place and call it a day.

I feel as though things are ruined between the pair of us. After seeing the Headlines crew at B Street Bash last week, I announced via this blog that I need to grow the fuck up and stop the drama. I have also made comments publicly that I cannot be around anyone associated with Headlines. As such, I have eliminated the need to make an appearance at children's birthday parties.. even though it's not Jaxton's fault. I feel this is better.

It hurts me to type that. I asked Andrew on Friday night as we split a pizza and caprese salad, "What should I do? What would YOU do?" And in his sincerest, most loving manner, he said, "yeah. I don't know."

As I ellaborated as to what I was going to do it became very clear between us that I knew bowing out was the grown-up choice.

I've been watching alot of "Oprah: Behind the Scenes" and "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" and I'm gonna be honest, I'm much rather be Oprah than someone dramatic who calls attention to himself negatively. So with that in mind, I feel the classiest thing for me to do, is to bow out gracefully. She will probably not understand and hold it against me and if so, then so be it.

I can't allow someone or an organization to taint my brain and the thoughts in them. Not just for drama's sake, but more so, because this morning via Twitter, I announced the name of my salon. My salon will be named ROCKSTARS + LAMBS. I will begin work next month and would like to open sometime in May, June or July 2012. My parents are fully on board and the project is going to be funded primarily by me. Joshua Ryan, Inc is in full swing!

Don't expect a location or anything yet! I have a month-by-month breakdown of what has to happen first!

I not only left my life downtown for the last two days to get away from the temptation of showing up at Jax's b-day, but also to map out 8 months of progress and goals for forming ROCKSTARS + LAMBS.

I am the son of two very powerful business people. Both of whom are accoladed in their industries as am I in hairdressing, writing and speaking. With my parents behind me and with their support, I will become a brand. I don't have time for haters or building bridges with the past. If anyone wants back on this ride, they're gonna have to come to me with open arms and all agenda aside. I don't care to discuss he said-she said. Fuck it. It's time to be my own man.

I have my mum and dad. I have my clients. I have Andrew and my friends Lisa and Michelle and I'm off... who's coming with me?

BTW, leave the past at home. I'm not discussing it.

All eyes forward, lambs... I'm a Rockstar!
Joshy

6.05 :: I'm grounded... and growing up.

Good evening lambs!

It's our favourite haute mess coming to you from right here at Studio JRy. I'm sipping the restof a Heineken and preparing for my week.

For once, I had a day off and did almost nothing today. Well, I did do something: I took care of me. I had a facial, a manicure, a tan and tomorrow morning, I'm to greet my day with a major work out. I'm at the end of my day which involved catching up on DVRed shows and working on my book. Yep, my book.

My started righting my book about two years ago and then situations happened with me and Headlines and then I wanted to write-in Panda as a character in the book and basically butchered my own book. It was not along the creativity that I exude or the integrity.

So, I went through files and jumpdrives and meditated heavily on Sunday and decided to re-write a concept of my book. In this case, there is no working title yet. It's just "the book".

This last week was incredibly busy (of course) and I dropped an ad campaign that hit 50,000 homes in the area once again and keeping up with the requests was tough. Not just requests, but the e-mails and phone calls have gotten unbearable, which brings me to announce to you officially that I will announce the name of the salon and start OFFICIALLY registering a salonspace within the next few months. My estimated time needed is 8-12 months of growth and moving and a campaign that rivals anything I've done.

I leaked this information offficially on Twitter last week and then announced it to my exclusive group of VIP Clients and then virally on Facebook. Publicly, people would see me and ask me "What's the name?"

"When do you open?"

"Got a location?"

Between those questions a massive week, I went out to eat majorly last week and filled in my date book. This has put into perspective the need for me to 'lay-low' this week publicly... lol. I made a vow to just chill at home and then about 2 hours later got a text from my good friend Lisa about going out for dinner on Wednesday for a mutual friends' birthday. How can I say "no"? I adore miss Lisa.

Also, with the week being super active, I took the opportunity to pal around with a client on Friday night which lead us to many different locations. One of them being the dreaded B Street Bash that I do not attend due to always finding a conflict!

I agreed to go to B Street and then off I went for about five minutes with my friend and low and behold, there was a Tish and the the entire Headlines crew. I knew that I should not have been out that night! ESPECIALLY because this always seems to find me.

I went over.

I said hi to Tish.

HISTORY LESSION: I will always say hi to Tish because she gave me my opportunity in this business. How could I snub the woman that brought me into this industry? I can't!

I went over and said hi. She hugged me like she missed me and I the same. Immediately, the quetions and firing squad hit me... "Why are you taking about my mom?" her sister said. "What happened between you and Nasia?" "Why are you talking shit about us?" "Why can't we all get along?"

Then the comment, "you can't bash someone to make yourself look better."

I turned around and defended myself and said, "it has been a tough year emotionally. I did alot of wrongs and alot of rights and I own them! I'm not running. We've all said stuff in anger."

It was true.

I have agreed to just let this situation be what it is: drama.

I went to talk to one of the girls and give her a hug and she scooted away and said, "I don't want to talk to you. You make us look bad. You ran your mouth."

I said abubtly, "YOU RAN YOURS!!"

She shared with me that when I talk about someone there it makes them all look bad. Yep, I know.

I know that. No denying. I know what I'm doing and how to use my persona.

Also, she pointed out that a client of mine and online friend had been sharing blogs, twitter messages and Facebook posts with her about what I've said.

I was floored when she said who it was.

I also accepted that if I am a so-called 'public personality' that those kind of things are going to happen.

I'm not about denying what I said, nor do I intend to say sorry for something I don't need to apologize for. The end of this encounter finished when she left me and rolled her eyes. Another bites the dust. Fuck it.

As I turned around, I hear "Joshua!"

Guess who it was?

It was Nasia.

We hugged and I wanted to cry. "I miss you, darling. I miss you alot. But I'm over the drama between you and I. It's bullshit, dude!"

She agreed and we talked about what was said the night I ran into the girls. As I was taking to Nasia, one of the Headlines girls interrupted and I just glared at her. She was at the bar the night I saw her. She was one of the three that ran her mouth!

She says, "I don't like the way you're looking at me. What?"

I said, "you ran your trap, J!"

She got really upset and immediately through the new guy under the bus. "HE said that to Nasia. I didn't even talk to her. But you said she was over us. It was so fucking rude of you, Josh."

"No it rude of you to run your mouth as a threesome the next day" I said.

"But I'm over that... if you said he ran his... where is HE?"

I look over and New Stylist (as he'll be referred) was there. I said, "why are you running your trap? You broke me and Nasia up again?! Do you need a sense of approval from her because I have YEARS invested in her!!"

He rolled his eyes and ignored me and I started to talk to Tish. She asked for no drama..

He rolled his eyes again and started taking to Nasia about me.

I turned around and yelled, "I'm really over your fucking mouth!"

He says, "why do you talk shit about me and you don't know me?"

I said, "why did you run your face?"

He didn't answer.

I go, "you're fucking jealous because you've done hair longer than I have and you're NOT successful. You try so hard to be liked and you have a reputation for talking about your own friends! How dare you use my friends against me!??!"

He said, "I love my salon, Josh. You seem unhappy and angry still."

Did he have a point, oh yeah. Did I want him to run his face? Absolutely not.

"you look real stupid right now, " I said. Continued, "I'm not about you. You don't exist... you're trying too hard and I will not have it."

I walked out of B Street Bash and went home.

I turned my phone off and the next day had two voicemails from Tish and some messages from Tish and Nasia. Tish had wanted me to stay and did not want any of this to happen. They had both spent the evening calming New Stylist down.

The next night, feeling really low for using my ego, I went out alone and it did not go well. I was having fun with a bunch of friends and got mouthy...

That's when I realized. My ego is o.o.c. (out of control).

With the salon opening in a year, a book in the works, and people knowing who I am publicly, I need to chill out. I need to get rest, eat right and stay home. At least this week.

I realized this week that I do not take out my stress against people during the day, but when I'm alone. It should never happen. I decided I needed to ground myself. So, I am going to take my time this week and focus all of the energy I put into negativity and drinking into a time-consuming investment that is either neutral or productive. The two involve working on my book and catching up on DVRed shows. HAHA. Ones's productive and one's neutral. Either way, I'm over the Headlines deal. It's become a circus act everytime I'm around them.

Sometimes, when we grow up we call this a break, and sometimes when we act immaturely, we call this growing up.

-xoxo.

JRy

6.04 :: The Butterfly Effect in a "Sorry".

Good evening lambs,

It's a clear June night and almost midnight as I type this sipping a black cup of coffee after fleeing my parents' house this evening: that situation has rarely ever presented itself.

They were not fighting.

They were not rude.

They were not welcoming, either though.

In a time when I should enjoy my Sunday with my most trusted confidante, my mum, she was blitzed-tired and ready to sleep. My Guela was also there and my dad talking to my Guela. My sister went downstairs to the family room to watch TV and I was left on the couch to text to well, no one.

I for once felt incrdibly overshadowed by my family.

The most amazing situation presented itself ealier in the day when my uncle Jay came over and removed porn viruses from my laptops. Yes, you read that right! Porn viruses... I was a naughty boy for once and got caught in the act by cyberspace and have been without laptop for a week. Can you imagine?

Reliving comedy with Jay this afternoon reminded me of him living with us when I grew up and him moving to Pueblo with us and my house being warm and welcoming and when he left Studio J Ry today, I went to Casa de Cooley and the above scenario presented itself.

There was no warmth today, just a tired feeling. I literally spent less than 45 minutes in my old home and left. That NEVER happens and funny part was, it seemed as if no one gave a shit.

For me, I realized that the energy of "home" travels with me. If I'm at the salon, I try to bring that familiar warmth to my guest, if at Studio J Ry alone or entertaining, I bring the warmth for others. When I revisit Casa de Cooley, my parents' estate, it comes in with me... it also... unfortunately, must leave with me.

A situation presented itself at 3am this morning between Andrew and I. We had a miscommunication with a mutual friend that did not know me and contacted me. Me, in my sarcasam, misinformed the friend of Andrew's whereabouts and some might say, disclosed too much information. At 2am, I read Andrew's post on Facebook and he mentioned he was up and couldn't sleep, I posted "why".

I recieved a call..

I answered, "what's the matter?"

"YOU!" he said.

"Me?"

"Why are you talking about me? You have no business talking about me."

Long story short, Andrew expressed his distain for the situation and said the words, "And you're not even sorry, are you?"

Lambs, I rarely am.

My goal is to never make a friend upset, but it's like whoever talks to me that is mutual tells my friends another story and then, my friends call defensive... it's such a butterfly effect with me that at the end of most days, I'm very lonely.

The result of this 3am phone call was a "Coolness" between the pair of us and the understanding that Andrew does not live as public as I do. He does not like to be talked about.

I generally only talk about how awesome he is and how he's become a saviour to me when most friends have left me. He's been a standing force for the last couple years and he still is. This was the first real conflict we ever had and I don't wish to relive it. We are two strong personalities and I, in this case, did a bad. So, when I said I was sorry to him humbly, I was.

I was however miffed at the the little troll that ran his mouth to Andrew. That's never cool! I hate backstabbers... especially when it's someone that doesn't know me well.

So, to Andrew (if he's reading) I'm sorry for once. And to my family, I'm sorry for leaving today, but my warmth was on the fritz and did not travel well with me today.

For once, I felt ultimate loneliness at the thought of losing Andrew. I saw Jay today and saw what connection I had been missing for these past few years and when I was with my family, I thought, "What if I wasn't around as much, would they miss me like I'd miss Andrew and Jay?"

I miss Nasia. I have to admit though, I'm not in the mood for the drama or reconciling yet and it's eating a hole into my patience and friendships and family.

I wish she understood the butterfly effect and how it took one phone call, one accusatory text to end up as this lonely little blog where I reflect about someone not saying "Sorry".

So, for all of you like me that dont' say sorry... make it a point to get humble and say so, you'll lose alot of great people if you don't.

-Josh

6.03 :: Oprah reminded me.

Good afternoon lambs,

It's a windy monday here at Studio J Ry and I'm finishing a tepid cup of coffee and listening to "Sex and the City" play in the backgroud.

My Blackberry has been dinging non-stop all yesterday and this morning. I thought it was supposed to be Memorial Day weekend? Oh well, I think I broke my own "no work" rule by going in later today to service a couple clients of mine. Wow. It just never stops does it.

This past week has been amazing. Business was thriving and bold last week and it was a week without bumps for the first time. Not so much that there's been conflict, but that it's been as though I'm been nit-picky or letting small things or enviromental things bother me.

I was watching Diane Sawyer on OWN's "Masterclass" and she made the following statement that was so goddamned profound:

"A cristicism is a really bad way of making a request. Just make the request."

That resonated with me on so many levels. Seriously!

Have I just been critical and have I been cristicised through karma lately? Basically, I'm asking and know the answer at the same time: have I spent so much time critiquing business practices that I'm actually bringing the critics to critique me?

With that said, last week, I let alot of stuff just brush off my shoulder and did not let petty shit affect me. If I had to do a management course, I would tell people to never be blind to what's around you, but don't be so confrontational either and that's one thing I've been- super confrontational.

Oprah officially ended her 25 year reign on daytime and I ran to the newstand for the new issue of O Magazine and logged on to see where the woman is going and not only is she assuming her role as "Oprah" in the universe and television industry, she's moving to LA. For me, that's so not a reality. She has become synonomous with Chicago.

I can't see myself moving anytime soon, but I always express the want or need to retire out of the country or in wine country in Northern California which means that I want to retire somewhere in my late fifties meaning my "25 year" or so reign has started in the SoCo area. It means, as soon as I have my salon open and running, if I decide to move away and retire or at least havea summer home, I have another minimum of a quarter of a century to show people what I'm made of in local business.

Oprah has set this standard for me.

I also have been talking with my editor and publisher at PULP about a possible "Haute Mess" one-year later party. I am so proud of the success of my writing and so happy that people are responsive to it. I was working on a book when I approached PULP about a column and was already blogging heavily online and it's as if I've already attained a sense of success in writing through online and local mediums. So why would I not pursue finishing my book?

Oprah reminded me of that as well.

The new Gaga album was released this week to mixed reviews and for someone who was so skeptical that this would be a success, I bought the album and adore it. I reminds me so much of the misfortune of relationships and being "stoned", called "Judas", trying and reaching your goals and at the end of the day still obsessed by the relationships and connections that just did not flourish past a certain point. Alot of songs remind me of the times of Leon, Headlines and multiple Nasia-moments (both good and bad).

Oprah talked about working with passion during her last show and I cried heavily wanting nothing more than to hug her for being there. That last show was a tear-drenched motivational monologue about how passson = happiness and the desire to recieve is a manifestation. She normally brought out the human in the star and for me, my clients bring out the human in me, a self-promclaimed Rockstar Stylist.

The other night at the Downtown Bar I was reminded of this and my conversations with my new confidante Lisa have affirmed this... but most importantly...

Oprah reminded me.

xoxo.
Josh

6.02 :: Not interested... and that's okay.

Good evening Rockstars and Lambs,

I'm sitting in my office at Studio J Ry sipping a bottle of water after an afternoon and evening of hanging out with my parents. After tuning in for the climatic season finale of Celebrity Apprentice, I got in my car and zoomed back home to download Gaga's latest album, "Born This Way"...

The album is downloading as I type this. The Golden Girls are on in the living room and I sip-sipping my way to a night of relaxation and a manana of the same.

This week has been relatively busy on many different levels. This was, for once, a very slow week for me business-wise. Most of the downtown area was blocked off as of Tuesday to make way for the Wild West Fest. I was to be terribly committed in the salon this week and had been asked to help/participate at numerous booths and declined all offers Monday night. At the end of the week, I had 40% rescheduled guests due to not even wanting to play with parking issues and a serious annoyance with last-minute call-ins the day of their appointment or they called so late in the day that I could not even make a spot available for another guest. I took that as a hint from the universe that I was supposed to lay-low and hang out at home.

As it turned out, I was available to work on Friday representing my second home as a public personality: The PULP booth. The PULP is an independent/alternative publication I contribute for by writing my fashion and trend column, "Haute Mess" (you can see back-issues at http://www.pueblopulp.com/).

Surprisingly, I really enjoyed representing and helping out my team. I had never really involved myself and always thought of myself as a personality, and not a team member. This weekend, as much as I played the local celeb, I had so much fun participating and not being obligated to do anything except be me. They are one amazing group of people.

I had a mixture of night events that were not so great this week. Alot of people ditching out on me due to time-constraints, other obligations or just general "lack of interest".

I was at an event on Saturday evening that I walked with Andrew down to a tent event and could not handle the crowd. The scene was just not "me". Have you ever felt out of place so incoherently that you wanted to simply dissapear or run? That's what happened.. I hugged Andrew after twenty minutes of standing grumbily and excused myself, "Have fun with your friends" I said and dashed off.

As I walked off in the night down the street I call home. I walked silently and calmly back to Studio J Ry. My friend texted me, "I just woke up. So Sorry."

Poor thing, she had been working the festival too. I don't blame her for being tired. All my other friends had dashed off to other venues or houseparties (which do not peak my interest) and I began to text Andrew. Tears were in my eyes...

I texted him that I was sorry for being a bitch and that it simply wasn't my scene to accompany him that evening. My main concern was that I did not want his friends or him to think poorly of me for leaving. The truth was: I was being a bitch who thought I was too good for the crowd. I had an ego moment and my tears weren't coming from leaving, but from being a douchebag.

All of the hand-shakes, public acclaim and compliments had come to a screeching hault when I went to that event. I was no longer the star. Sure, there were some attentive goers, but I found myself saying, "this is not my scene and I hate it here" out loud.

I knew that this devilish person saying these things had to go. I had to go home. As I left, someone stopped me, it was one of Nasia's clients. She said, "I LOVE following you online, you look so damn good! I'm so proud of you.

Had she not heard about the recent falling out?

Once again, another Josh-Nasia falling out.

"I need to lose 20 more pounds", I said.

"you're being stupid! You're fucking hot!" she said. "Whatever you're doing, I'm proud of you."

I had seen an influx of my peers do things at this event I would have NEVER DONE. I don't represent something unless my heart is in it and for once since my time leaving Headlines, I saw myself cling to my own interest and not the interest of the salon. Janelle was working alone with her friend, mom and boyfriend in tow and I was merely, 'a public personality'.

I see me growing away from my peers and branching off into different interests. Interests that are my own, interests I don't wish to share, but wish to push passionately as a Kindergartener and say, "look what I did today!"

I saw that person as I walked away from Andrew's group. He was so sweet and his friends were too, but the event was not my interest (nor his, I heard the next day) and I've had to accept that that is okay. I did not want to work outside the salon because, frankly, feather extensions aren't my thing. I just want to make my clients happy... and there's nothing wrong with that.

I looked at my texts as I was about a block away from my doorway and saw a text from Nasia that morning apologizing for her outburst the week prior and began to write an e-mail. I deleted it.

I deleted her message and my reply and by the time I got home, I had planned out my response.

I was in the bubble bath listening to the live music just downstairs outside my window and re-read the influx of texts from friends, "you look good", "let's do bevs or dinner next week", "sorry couldn't make it."

And then I remembered the last text I got from Nasia saying we're different and have grown apart. I got up, got dressed and e-mailed my reply.

Maybe my interests have changed...

I have to understand that NOT all crowds, interests or previous co-stars are mine, we change. Change is scary when it's good and as Saturday turned into Sunday, I was terrified.

xoxo.
JRy

Dedicated to my favourite confidante Andrew. I'm sorry for being a picky-bitch and love you for hanging out with a picky bitch like me. ; ) x0x0-jry

Dear Lisa, you are a sweet co-star by far that I am adoring getting to know you. We all fall asleep sometimes. ; ) xoxo-jry.